Carjacks And Roadtrips
by FearTheKeira
Summary: It would only ever happen to Eren Jaeger. All he wanted was an easy car to hotwire, a quick getaway. He never expected to accidentally kidnap another person in the process! But now there's a furious blond in the boot of the car and his conscience isn't easing up any time soon. AU, pure crack.
1. Chapter 1

So I came across this AU idea on tumblr and instantly fell in love with it (hijacked a car with someone sleeping in the back au)! I know, I shouldn't be posting any more fics; I should be focusing on the ones I've already started. But this was too good an idea to pass up! It's light and fun to write, which is a nice change of pace from my other fics at times.

So sit back and enjoy the ridiculousness while you can! I make no guarantees for chapter length or update times. Expect them to be random and sporadic.

* * *

><p>He ran hard and fast, each step as his feet hit the ground jarring its way through his body to rattle his teeth. Every breath was harsh and painful as the smog-filled air burned his throat. Yet there was no slowing down, no pausing to catch his breath. Eren had to get out of there, as fast as he possibly could!<p>

They weren't chasing him now but they would be soon. That gave him some time but only a little. Thankfully, Eren knew just what to do with only a little time.

The street he turned down was entirely void of people. Parked cars lined either side and Eren found his feet skidding on the asphalt as he slowed, mind calculating which would be the easiest pickings as his eyes roved over each one. Carjacking might not be the first thing to add to his resume, but it was a reliable escape route. Which was exactly what he needed.

There. Reining in his indomitable fury to _get away_, Eren walked casually to a beat-up, old sedan with yellow paint so faded it looked sun-bleached. He recognised the model of the car, knew instantly the ignition system it would have. Far easier to hotwire than any of the other newer cars on the street with fancy electronic engines.

Unlocking the door was no problem. Eren slung his backpack to the ground, quickly retrieving a thin wire and making light work of the lock. Acting as though he had every right in the world to be there, he slung his backpack onto the passenger seat as he slid in and pulled the door shut. His hands instantly went to the panel under the key ignition, groping for wires. A quick glance in the rearview mirror confirmed no-one had followed him yet. He still had time, for now.

A couple of tries later, the engine caught and turned over. Eren winced at the unhealthy whine and rattle of the old machine, eyes flicking down to check the petrol gauge. Just under a full tank. Perfect! It wasn't often he scored a ride with a full tank, although the crappy engine was nothing new.

Eren put the car into gear and drove away with all the casual assertiveness he could muster. There was no point in tearing out like a speed demon; that would only cause a fuss that someone was more likely to remember. But who would remember someone simply getting into their car and going on their way? No-one. It was too normal. It happened every single day, thousands of times a day by thousands of different people. No-one was going to care about him acting normally.

Even so, he didn't feel the nervous tension ease out of his body until he was on the freeway, two hours into his journey. A smile spread across his young face and he turned his gaze to admire the view.

He had gotten away. He had managed to escape without a veritable blood bath. A laugh slipped through his lips and before he knew it, Eren was howling in laughter, head half-thrown back in pure delight at the utter freedom he felt. This was what he needed! Finally, a change of scenery!

In the rear seat of the car, something stirred. Eren felt his blood run cold, the smile freezing on his face, as he glanced in the rearview mirror to see a sleepy-looking blond with mussed up hair sitting up and looking around in confusion.

"What … the hell?"

The blond's eyes focused a split second before they landed on Eren. His whole body went rigid as anger swarmed his features.

"Who the fuck are you?!"

* * *

><p>Eren didn't mean for it to happen. Hurting the blond was the last thing he intended! Yet everything happened so fast, flashing by on instinctive reaction before he had a chance to comprehend the events.<p>

The blond was furious, yelling and swearing at Eren and demanding he pull over.

"Stop the car! Stop right now!"

"I don't think-"

"How fucking dare you! This is my car! Pull over and stop right now you piece of shit!"

Panic rose in Eren's chest as the blond lunged forward, trying to wrestle control of the vehicle away from this intruder. Fighting the boy off and keeping the car straight on the road was proving to be impossible. Eren needed to force him to back down! Yet he couldn't get a decent punch in from this angle so …

His backpack was in his hands before his brain caught up with his reflexes. Eren swung it hard, aiming straight for the blond's face. A loud _crack_ resounded through the car and the blond fell back, voice abruptly silent and limbs still as his eyes rolled back in unconsciousness. That was when Eren remembered the assorted tools like spanners and pliers he kept in the bottom of his bag.

"Shit!"

He wrenched the car off the freeway, diving into an emergency rest area. There was no-one else around but he wasn't taking any chances as he parked the car behind a dense copse of bushes, leaping out and opening the rear door to clamber in and check on his hapless viction.

An ugly bruise was welling on the boy's temple and Eren winced. But there was no skin split open, no streaming blood and he sighed in relief before raising a tentative hand and checking for a pulse. The thud-ud of a heartbeat fluttered strongly against his fingers so he moved his hand to the blond's mouth, holding it there and waiting for the whoosh of air to pass over him. Having confirmed that the blond was just unconscious, not dead, Eren stumbled out of the car and thrust his hands into his hair, mind racing furiously.

What the fuck was he supposed to do now? Oh, well done, Eren! Steal the car with a fucking _person_ sleeping in the back seat! What kind of person did that, anyway? It had been mid-morning when Eren took the car; why was the blond still there? Was he in trouble with someone? Was he on the run, too?

Fuck! He should just drag him out and leave him behind those trees and be done with it! No, Eren couldn't do that. Despite his current situation and less-than-pristine criminal record, he was not one to inflict pain just because he could. This blond kid hadn't done anything wrong. It was all Eren's fault. Eren couldn't just abandon him. Who knew what might happen to him out here? And what if he didn't have a phone to call for help?

Oh. That was another reason not to leave the kid there! The blond knew what Eren looked like. It was his car; the blond could give a very detailed report to the authorities! That would ruin Eren's head start! All his work would be for nothing!

Nope, he couldn't throw the blond out. Which meant he had to come with him.

Eren popped the boot of the car and checked inside. There was a large backpack stuffed full of things and the idle thought wandered through his head again; was the blond running away from something? There was nothing else other than a few scraps of cloth, and a car jack, so Eren figured it would work. He dragged the backpack out – cursing in surprise as the weight of it almost wrenched his arms out – and leant it against the side of the car before returning to the blond.

"Okay. Sorry about this, man. But I don't really have a choice."

This was quite possibly the worst idea of his life. Eren glanced around at the rest area once more before grabbing hold of the unconscious boy and dragging him to the door.

It took a lot of cursing and fumbling before Eren was able to get a proper hold on him – honestly, why did unconscious people have to be such dead weights? Muttering constantly under his breath, he finally managed to lift the blond out of the rear seat and carry him to the boot.

Getting the brat into the boot was another matter entirely. As soon as Eren started to lower him, the blond's arm slipped off his shoulder, pulling the rest of his torso down and resulting in a loud _thwack_ as his head came in contact with the rear lights. Gasping in horror, Eren almost dropped the blond but just managed to keep his grip. Perhaps feet first would be the best option, so he slowly wrangled the blond's legs in, letting them bend to allow for the rest of his body to follow him in.

"Sorry, sorry. I'm so fucking sorry," Eren found himself muttering as the blond finally lay in the boot of the car. He took a moment to check the boy's head over but found nothing more than a new lump on the back of the head. Wincing and cursing himself out like a sailor, Eren quickly searched blond's pockets and found a phone, which he slipped into his rear pocket. There, that was that. He took one last look at his unexpected victim before closing the boot.

Phew. It was done! Now to get the hell out of here before anything else went wrong!

"Everything alright?"

"Holy shit!" Eren screamed, jumping what felt like a mile in the air before spinning around and staring at the man behind him in horror. Where had he come from? Eren spied an SUV a short way away, a woman and two kids carrying some food towards one of the public benches.

"Sorry," said the man. "I didn't mean to scare you. You just looked like you were struggling with something and could use a hand."

So … did that mean this guy hadn't seen the other human being Eren had been stuffing into the boot? Thank his lucky stars for that! Forcing a smile onto his face, Eren tried to laugh it off.

"Oh, it's no problem. I just didn't hear you guys arrive. But I'm fine, thanks. Just checking my stuff, y'know?"

Wow, Eren. What a weak-ass, lame excuse! You couldn't come up with anything better? He wanted to punch himself in the face to save himself from the embarrassment of trying to dig himself out of this hole. Somehow, the man before him didn't seem to notice.

"Going on a roadtrip?" the man asked with a nod towards the blond's backpack that still rested against the side of the car.

"Uh, yeah. I'm taking some time to see the country, y'know? I never got to do much of that as a kid."

"Hey, that's great! Young people should always make the most of these opportunities!" replied the man and Eren found himself smiling and nodding along. Hurry it up, man! Wrap up this conversation so you can get the fuck outta here!

"Well, I should get going-"

"Oh, at least come have some lunch with my family before you go."

"Uh …"

"It's the least we could do! You probably want to save all your money for your trip, right? Come on, just a sandwich at least!"

This was the strangest day of his entire fucking life. And that was saying something! So it was that Eren found himself smiling awkwardly as this random man and his family practically force-fed him a cheese and ham sandwich with some juice to wash it down. Eren thanked them and begged his leave as he began edging back to the car but didn't quite escape the well-wishes and the second sandwich to-go that they pressed upon him.

Finally breaking away, he shoved the blond's backpack on the rear seat, climbed into the front and checked to make sure his own backpack was still there before gunning the engine and leaving the rest area as fast as he could!

"Holy shit," Eren muttered to himself as his raging heart finally began to slow itself down. His head spun, still struggling to come to terms with everything that had happened in less than twenty four hours.

He had stolen a car and attacked the car's owner. He had been fed lunch by a random man and his family and he was now on the freeway, headed fuck knows where, with an unconscious blond in the boot of the car!

"How do I manage this?" Eren wondered aloud. "How do I always manage to get myself into the most ludicrous situation imaginable?" His stunned brain had no answers for him so he just kept driving, eyes constantly searching the road ahead for police and one ear listening out for any sounds that might signal the blond was waking up.

What the fuck was he meant to do next?


	2. Chapter 2

Armin woke to a splitting headache and awkward pains through his uncomfortably cramped body. He groaned, one hand going to his head as he tried to stretch and alleviate his discomfort. His feet hit a wall at the same time as his hand came in contact with a massive lump on his forehead. A lump that most certainly had not been there when he went to sleep in the back seat of his car at two in the morning.

Cracking his eyes open, Armin was met with darkness. He blinked, wondering if he had slept straight through the day. Suddenly the car jerked and he let out a yelp as he was bounced around, hands flinging out to brace himself as his head screamed in agony. His hands hit the roof and something constricted in Armin's chest. The roof should not be so close to him. What the hell was going on?

It all came back to him in a single heartbeat. Armin sucked in a breath of horror. There had been some weirdo driving his car, with him still in the back seat! Armin had fought him until … until the asshole swung something at him and it was lights out for the blond.

Groping around in the darkness, Armin quickly deduced that he was locked in the boot of the car. His anger spiked and he wanted nothing more than to get through to the main body of the car and choke the life out of the man driving his car. Who the hell did this? How dare they! Armin wouldn't let them get away with it! A strangled noise of frustration left his mouth as he realised his phone was gone. Great, so he was trapped in here with no way to contact anyone for outside help!

Time to make his presence known, then.

"Hey!" Armin shouted and pounded on the roof of the boot. "Hey! Let me out of here, asshole! How dare you! Stop the car and let me out! Let me out now!"

* * *

><p>Eren cringed as the thumping and yelling finally started up in the boot. He had expected this a lot sooner, in all honesty, but his unfortunate passenger had remained silent for the last hour and a half. At least now Eren had confirmation that the blond was alive and most likely okay. Yet what did he do now that the boy was awake? Did he pull over and let him out? Did he just ignore him and keep driving? What about when he had to stop to refuel or sleep for the night? If the blond kept making that much noise, someone was bound to notice. That was the last thing Eren needed!<p>

Perhaps he could reason with him. If Eren could just explain that it was an accident, a gross misunderstanding, perhaps the blond would calm down and be okay with it.

Who the fuck was he trying to kid? Be okay with it? Seriously! Ha! Eren slapped a hand across his face in frustration. Moron! He had stolen this guy's car and taken him prisoner! As if he could be reasoned with!

Still, it was worth a try. Eren had nothing else to do with his time.

"Are you okay?" he shouted back and the ranting in the boot of the car went quiet for a moment.

_"What?"_ came the muffled reply that Eren had to strain to hear.

"I said, are you okay?"

_"What the hells is wrong with you?!"_

Okay, so that one was a bit easier to understand and Eren allowed himself a moment to chew on his bottom lip as the blond raged again, kicking rather violently and rattling the car a bit.

"Hey, calm down in there!" Eren yelled. "If you keep that up, you're either gonna break the car in half or cause an accident! And I don't think either of us want to die today!"

_"Stop the car! Let me out! It's my fucking car!"_

"Uh, I can't do that!" Eren called back.

_"Why not?"_ The blond sounded exasperated.

"To make a long story short, I really need the car and if I stop now, you're just gonna kick me out and call the police or something and believe me, that is the last thing I need right now! But I'm sorry. I'm really fucking sorry! I had no idea you were in the car and when you woke up, I just freaked out! I mean, I thought about dumping you somewhere but what kind of person would that make me if I-"

_"You thought about dumping me on the side of the road?! Stop the car right now, you asshole!"_

"I-I can't! I'm sorry! But listen, I'll be wanting to stop for a break in the next hour. So can you wait until then? I swear, I don't wanna hurt you and I'm really sorry to inconvenience you like this but it's too late to go back on it now."

_"An hour?! It's fucking uncomfortable back here!"_

For some reason, a smile cracked over Eren's face. This was the most bizarre situation he had ever been in yet for some reason, he was beginning to feel a bit more okay about the whole thing. Maybe, just maybe, he'd make it out of this without a black eye.

* * *

><p>There was no way in hell that Armin was going to wait a whole hour before that asshole pulled over and let him out of the boot! When all else failed, Armin had his intelligence to rely on. And he was putting it to work now! One way or another, he would break out of this tiny prison before the hour was up.<p>

Not that he wanted to destroy his car. The sedan might be pretty crappy to begin with but that did not mean Armin was willing to sacrifice any more of its integrity for his freedom. No, if he was going to do this, he had to do it without damaging anything too severely. Lucky for him, Armin knew this car inside out. Which meant that he knew exactly how the rear seats were put together.

The left side of the rear seat folded down. When Armin had first gotten the car, he had spent a bit of time tinkering around and trying to make the right side fold down as well. But he eventually gave up when he found that the joints in the right side had been welded together. So much for that endeavour! At least the left side still folded down, allowing for a little extra room when he needed it. Right now, that folding down seat could be his only chance at freedom! The only thing was, there was no handle to fold it down from the boot. The lever was in the main body of the car.

So Armin had a few options. He could try and wriggle himself around so that his feet were at the left side of the seat instead of his head, and try kicking it in. He could try and rig something up from the scant materials he had back here to reach through the tiny gap between the seat and the wall and pull the lever. Or he could try and pull apart the bolts and other bits that held the seat together.

First things first. Armin had to determine what he had back here in the boot that he could use to his advantage. He remembered putting a jack in before starting his journey, so where-

The car hit a deep pothole, throwing Armin quite violently against the roof of the boot. He swore and grasped his head as lights danced before his eyes.

"Hey asshole!" he shouted angrily. "Drive carefully! That fucking hurt!"

_"Don't pick on my driving!"_ came the testy reply and Armin's anger grew.

"I'll pick on whatever the fuck I want! You stole my car and kidnapped me, remember?"

The asshole grumbled something in reply but Armin couldn't make it out. Not that it mattered. He had work to do! Drastically contorting his body in the tiny space, Armin managed to kick the jack up to his hands. He turned it over and over in his grip, pondering the best way to go about this. He had a few ideas but without proper light to see what he was doing, he was just as likely to succeed as he was to poke his own eye out!

Still, Armin wasn't about to give up. He _would_ break out of his car boot and exact revenge on the asshole that had thought he could get away with this! Setting his jaw and ignoring the painful throbbing in his head, Armin got to work.

* * *

><p>Eren yawned and flicked a glance at the petrol gauge. He had just over a quarter of a tank left so he should probably start thinking about filling up. But filling up meant dealing with the living, breathing problem in the rear of the car first. He sighed, leaning his head into hand as he wondered how on earth he would talk himself out of this situation.<p>

A quick glance at the time on the dashboard confirmed that it had been almost an hour since Eren told the blond he would pull over for a break. Well, he might as well start looking for a place to stop and get this over and done with. He couldn't put it off forever.

Taking the next exit, Eren consistently chose roads that appeared older, more disused. The potholes abounded and he heard muffled cursing from the rear of the car. He smiled and gazed around the countryside. It was pretty isolated right here. Long grass grew on either side of the road and wild fields stretched in every direction, random copses of trees smeared across the landscape. There was not a single house in sight and Eren figured that this was probably as good a place as any to stop.

Before he could pull over, a strange _pinging_ noise from the rear seat drew his attention. He glanced back and could only stare in horror as a blond head emerged from where the left side of the rear seat had folded down. A groan slipped past the blond's lips as he pulled himself through, body obviously stiff and probably cramping.

How had he gotten out? Eren had been going to talk to him through the boot before letting him out! This was bad, this was very very bad! So Eren did the only thing he could think of. He slammed on the brakes as the blond raised himself up with a look of murder on his face.

A yell escaped the blond's mouth as his body went flying forward, between the two front seats to crash his face awkwardly into the dashboard. Eren stared in pure mortification as the car stopped and the blond groaned, making no move to pick himself up just yet.

"Fuck! Are you alright? Here, let me-"

"Why," came the pained moan and Eren slowly realised the blond was not actually talking to him. "Why me? What did I do to deserve this?"

The blond moved gingerly, as though his whole body was broken. Slowly shoving himself off the dash, he slumped back against the rear seat, landing at an awkward angle with a hand pressed against his face. Red liquid began to seep past his fingers and Eren found himself moving on reflex.

"Shit, you're bleeding! Your nose!"

"I … what? Bleeding?" repeated the blond, suddenly turning very pale.

"Here," Eren said as he fished an old shirt out of his bag. "Let me-"

"Oh no," interrupted the blond as he pulled his hand away to stare at the blood coating it. "Oh, no no no. I don't … do well … with blood."

Eren could only stare, absolutely gobsmacked with one hand outstretched in offering as the blue eyes of his poor victim glazed over and rolled back in his head. The blond slumped, completely passed out with blood still streaming from his nose.

If ever there was a time Eren Jaeger realised just how badly he had fucked up, it was right now.

"Shit, shit!"

Bleeding was bad. Being passed out was bad. Combining the two could only be disastrous! Eren practically kicked his door open, wrenching the rear door open to reach in and grab the blond. If he left him there, he'd end up choking on his own blood.

So it was that Eren found himself struggling and cursing as he dragged the blond's unconscious body out of the car for the second time that day. He really had no idea what to do in this situation, having absolutely no medical training save for a basic first aid course that he had attended three years ago. What had they told him about a situation like this? Eren sighed. He didn't think there _was_ a handbook for a situation like this!

The only thing he could think to do was to lay the blond flat on the ground and roll him into the recovery position. With his head at that angle, the blood should flow straight out onto the ground instead of down the back of his throat. Eren rocked back on his heels, chewing his lower lip as simply stared at the blond and wondered how outrageous this must look to any outside eyes.

Thankfully, there were no outside eyes. Eren turned away from the blond to survey the damage done to the car. There wasn't too much blood on the upholstery but it would still need a thorough clean. Muttering a curse under his breath, Eren rubbed his forehead and wondered if this whole endeavour wasn't becoming too much effort. Maybe he should just leave the blond and the car here, go find some other method of transport.

A low groan rose from the blond and he twitched, limbs slowly moving as consciousness began to creep back. Eren sighed and mentally cursed himself out again. He couldn't leave the blond here like this! He was injured! That was no state to drive in! And if the boy passed out so easily at the sight of blood, how would he clean himself up?

Thus, Eren found himself kneeling down by the blond's head as his eyes started to flutter open.

"Hey. How're you doing?" he asked softly. Blue eyes focused on him for only a moment before the blond's face screwed up in pain.

"Next time, just fucking kill me! Save us all some time and effort."

"I'm sorry. I really mean it! I just … sorry." Seeing that the blood was starting to slow, Eren went and retrieved his old shirt from where he had dropped it in the car. He gently pressed it to the blond's face and the boy took it, wincing as he let the dark shirt mop up the blood.

"I feel like shit," came a pathetic moan and Eren felt the guilt triple in his gut.

"Can you sit up," he asked, hands hovering as the blond slowly pushed himself upright amidst a chorus of pained cries. "Shit, man! We need to get some ice on that. You look fucking terrible!"

"Yeah, well who's fault is that?" was the snarky reply. Eren had nothing to say to that so he just went back to the car and began organising things. The left side of the rear seat was propped back up and Eren heard it click into place. His backpack joined the blond's on the rear seat before a jingle in boy's bag caught his attention. Eren glanced briefly at him before opening an outside pocket. A set of car keys fell into his hands and he quickly pocketed them.

Sure, he may hate himself for ending up in this situation. But that did not mean he was going to leave his victim with a potential escape route. Eren came back around to the blond and squatted down by him.

"C'mon," he said as he offered a hand. "Let's get you up and in the car. We can't get ice for your face out here."

"Don't touch me! Asshole!" snapped the blond as he jerked away from Eren's offered hand. Yet it quickly became clear that he was not going to manage to stand on his own. Eren grasped him by the upper arm and gently hauled him to his feet, ignoring the angry protests.

The blond was still unsteady on his feet, so Eren held on as he walked him around to the other side of the car, opening the front passenger door and gently easing the blond in. The passenger door was abruptly yanked shut, almost catching his fingers in it and Eren jumped away with a yelp. He glared back at the blond before quickly getting into the driver's seat.

The car was painfully quiet as Eren pulled back onto the road and kept driving. The blond had done up his seat belt, tugging a few times on it and shooting dark glares at Eren, as though trying to make it clear that he doubted his life was safe in Eren's hands. He could hardly be blamed. So far, Eren had done a spectacularly terrible job of not injuring his accidental victim.

Fifteen minutes later, a moderately sized town was looming ahead of them with promises of motels and cafes. Eren checked the time and figured it would be best if they checked in to a motel. He figured an explanation was in order and depending on the outcome of that explanation, he may or may not be out of transport.

"Who the hell are you, anyway?" asked the blond, his voice muffled around the old shirt still pressed to his nose in case it decided to start bleeding again. Eren hesitated before deciding that the boy deserved to know that much, at least.

"My name's Eren. Eren Jaeger. Uh, who are you?"

"What, you mean you didn't go through all my stuff the moment I fell unconscious?" the blond sneered at him.

"No. I didn't," Eren said firmly and shot him a serious look. The blond sighed.

"Armin Arlert."

"Look, I'm really sorry all this happened, I never meant for anyone to get hurt! So how about we stop at a motel for the night? I'll explain everything and then I'll leave you alone. You can have your car back as long as you promise not to tell the police about any of this."

"And my phone?"

"Same thing. Please, Armin. Will you give me the chance to at least explain?"

An exasperated sigh left the blond's lips before he rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"Sure. Why not? It's not like I've got anything else to do right now." Eren deliberately ignored the sarcasm. A few minutes later, they pulled into a motel and parked outside the front office. Eren hesitated before getting out of the car.

"Just … promise me you won't try to run off while I'm booking the room? Please?"

"As if I'd get very far looking like this anyway."

"Right."

Deciding to take a leap of faith, Eren left the car and went into the office. It wasn't long before he came out again, a room key in hand and a small smile on his face. They drove over to their room and parked in front of it.

"Room 14," he said to Armin as they both got out, Armin moving rather slowly and wincing with every second step. Eren slung his backpack on his shoulders before bracing himself to pick up Armin's backpack. The blond just watched with a baleful expression as he staggered to the room, setting the bag down before unlocking it and pushing the door open.

"Don't forget to lock the car," Armin muttered as he pushed past Eren and into the room.

"Right," Eren muttered and slunk back to do just that before returning, dragging their things inside as the door swung itself shut behind him.

Armin was sitting on the second single bed, the one closest to the bathroom. That was fine with Eren. If he took the first single bed, he was closer to the exit and therefore far more likely to be able to stop the blond if he tried to pull a fast one. He left their bags on the floor and went over to the bar fridge wedged under a desk on the right side of the room. Just his luck, an ice brick was in the freezer and he pulled it out before offering it to Armin.

"Here." The blond took it and wrapped it Eren's old, now bloodied shirt before pressing it back to his face. A small hiss escaped his lips and he adjusted the ice brick, letting it cover his nose and his right eye in an attempt to ice both the nose and the large lump on the right side of his forehead at the same time.

"So?" Armin asked in a cold voice. "Are you gonna-"

"Aaaahhhh!"

Eren suddenly leapt in the air, screaming wildly as he came crashing down onto the bed beside Armin. He grabbed the blond's shoulder, still screaming as he pointed in absolute horror at something on the floor.

"Rat! It's a rat! Kill it!" Eren shrieked, not even realising he was shaking the blond quite violently.

"Get the fuck off me!" Armin shouted, smacking Eren hard and utterly pissed off. Seriously. A rat? This guy freaked out because of a rat?

"Kill it! For fuck's sake, kill it!"

Complaining loudly, Armin dropped the ice brick and staggered to his feet to advance on the offending rodent. Sensing that impending doom was on its way, the rat glared at the two of them before shooting across the room. Eren screamed even louder and sprang across onto his own bed. Armin followed the rat into the bathroom before coming out a moment later with the creature held tightly by the scruff of its neck.

"Kill it!" Eren ordered but Armin just rolled his eyes.

"It's just a rat. I'm not killing it." He made his way to the door, opened it and tossed the rodent out. Eren shuddered as the door closed and the rat did not come back inside. It felt as though his skin was crawling. To think, that creature had run across his foot!

He lifted his eyes to find Armin fixing him with a rather amused and satisfied expression. Eren felt his cheeks flush red in pure embarrassment and he clenched his fists in annoyance.

"It's not funny!" he shouted but this only drew a snicker from the blond, followed by a much more prominent snort. In moments, Armin was doubled over from laughing so hard.

"Actually," the blond said as he finally brought his laughter under control. "From where I'm standing, it's fucking hilarious!"

Eren crossed his arms and slumped back on the bed – only to crack his head on the wall. Armin laughed again as he groaned in pain and grabbed his head. Yet Eren couldn't find the strength to complain. After all he had put Armin through today, he definitely deserved this.

Clutching his head and glaring at his unintentional prisoner-turned-roommate, Eren wondered how the hell he ever got himself into these situations.


	3. Chapter 3

"So, uh, should I-"

"Shut up and just give it to me already!"

"But-"

"For fuck's sake, Eren! I can't wait any longer – mmf!"

Armin's eyes fluttered shut in pleasure and Eren swallowed hard, abruptly startled by the errant thought that the blond was decidedly sexy. No! He quickly banished the thought, shaking himself lightly and sitting down on his bed as he reached out to snag a piece of pizza from the box that had been unceremoniously ripped from his hands. Armin was happily stuffing his face, small groans rolling out of his throat every now and then. Eren stared at his pizza for a moment, trying to calm his thoughts before he took a large bite. Armin was just hungry. That was all. Nothing sexual about it in the slightest.

"So," Armin mumbled around a mouthful of pizza. "Are you finally gonna tell me your story or what?"

Eren took another bite and nodded. After the rat incident, Armin had not-so-subtly hinted that he was starving. Eren had suggested pizza and that had been that. Twenty minutes later, Eren tipped the delivery boy before turning around and almost being assaulted by a ravenous Armin. Relieved that the food seemed to have settled him, Eren tried to organise his thoughts.

"I guess I should start off with saying that I don't exactly have the cleanest of records."

"What?" Armin gasped and wrenched his head up, blue eyes widening to an impossible size of pure innocence. "You don't? Y-you mean, all this time, I've been held prisoner by a man with a _criminal record?_"

Eren narrowed his eyes. This kid was a rude, sarcastic little shit! Even if he was kinda sexy.

Banishing that traitorous thought with as much force as possible without giving himself away, Eren elected to ignore Armin's sass and continue his story.

"I've never done anything major, just petty theft and minor assault – even though it was self-defence," he grumbled and the blond rolled his eyes, obviously not giving two shits about whether Eren was at fault or not.

"Can you get on with it?"

"Fine! Ugh, you're so impatient!" Eren glared and Armin simply returned the glare as he lifted a new slice of pizza to his mouth, tongue flicking out to draw the tip of the slice in. Eren's eyes began to widen but he quickly plunged ahead, yanking his mind out of the gutter it seemed so determined to fall into.

"Before I stole your car I went to deliver some stolen goods to my buyers. Hmm, I say buyers, they're more like my brokers. I get shit for them, they take the goods and give me a cut before selling them on. So I went to the usual spot, to do our normal transaction. It all went fine, I got money and I started to leave. But then one of them tells me to stop and starts interrogating me about the piece I just gave them. I mean, come on! Money changed hands, it's a done deal! But they got all fired up when he says that it's not the original that I was meant to snatch. It's a fake.

"So of course, blame is flying all over the place and most of it is landing on me. And these guys, boy, you do not wanna mess with these guys! I mean, they're a bit weird but they're nasty fuckers if they're crossed. And they think I've crossed them, that I've taken the original and I'm gonna sell it on to someone else. So I do the only smart thing I can think of. I get the fuck outta there and block the door with some shit so they can't follow me. And that's when I found your car and accidentally kidnapped you. Sorry. But if I stayed, they would hunt me down and kill me! I have to get to the other side of the country. It's the only place I'll be safe."

Eren fell silent and resumed eating his pizza. Armin was staring at him with an unimpressed expression.

"Let me see if I've got this straight," he said. "You – a self-confessed criminal – accidentally messes up a job, your brokers want to skin you for it so you decide it's time to leave town and never come back. Yeah?"

"Yeah, that's pretty much it. Again, I'm really sorry, Armin! I didn't even think to look for someone sleeping in the back of the car! I mean, what were you doing there anyway?"

"That's none of your business," the blond snaps. "And I don't see how any of that story was meant to endear you to me! If anything, it makes me hate you more! You're a thief! How can I trust you after you've already stolen my car and me by accident?"

"I wasn't telling you my story in order to endear you to me," Eren said seriously. "I was just telling you the truth. You deserved to know, after everything I did to you."

"Damn right I deserved to know," Armin growled and started on another slice.

"Anyway, I already told you that you could have your phone and your car back if you promised not to tell the police about me, or any of this. I'm sticking to that, but only if you swear to keep quiet about all this! I'm serious, Armin. My brokers would literally try to kill me. Sure, I might be a criminal but I've never done anything that would warrant a death sentence. Please. Don't say anything about this."

"Say I agree to that. What will you do next? Go look for your next hapless victim? Steal another car and keep driving? Because I can't let you do that."

Eren was silent, feeling suitably judged by Armin's intense gaze. That was exactly what he had been planning to do. He couldn't risk using public transport, it was too unreliable and there was always the chance that his brokers were watching out for him on public transport. Having his own car was a much better idea.

"Huh. You're unbelievable," Armin said with disgust. For some reason, those words really hit home and Eren found himself wishing that this blond young man wasn't so repulsed by him. "No, Eren. I won't agree to that! I won't keep quiet if you're just gonna keep breaking the law. I won't let you do something like this to someone else. So you're gonna have to think of something else."

Eren shrugged as an idea occurred to him. Armin would probably hate it but it was his best chance at the moment.

"Well, you could always take me with you."

_"What?!"_ Armin was practically livid, staring at Eren in pure outrage.

"I mean, you're obviously travelling somewhere – your bag's heavy enough to tell me that you intend to be gone for quite some time. And you were sleeping in the back seat of your car, which suggests you don't have a lot of money, nor a lot of options. I can help with that!"

"You're insane! I am not gonna become your partner in cri-"

"I'm not saying that! I'm saying I'll pay you to take me with you! I have money, Armin. I just got paid for a job, remember? I'll give you … I'll give you a grand, in cash, for you to take me wherever it is you're going!"

The blond was silent, eyes bugged open in true honesty this time as Eren's words slowly sank in. Eren sat there, somewhat surprised by himself. He had made five thousand dollars in cash for his job gone wrong and even though he needed the money – who knew when he would next get a job, legitimate or illicit – he could spare a thousand if it would convince Armin to help him.

"A … grand?" Armin repeated and Eren nodded.

"Yes."

"As in … one thousand dollars?"

"Yes."

"Who the _hell_ carries that much cash around on them?!" Armin yelled, as though everything Eren said was utterly preposterous.

"I just got paid, remember? I didn't exactly have time to bank the money before I stole your car!"

"So this whole time, you've just been going around with a thousand dollars in cash, in your bag?"

"A bit more than just one thousand, but yeah. What else was I supposed to do with it?"

Armin scrunched his eyes shut, raising one hand to pinch his nose before wincing as he remembered it was broken, placing his hand on his forehead instead. Eren recognised this look; it was a look he had seen a hundred times before. Armin was considering his offer, was considering the money. He just needed a little more convincing.

"I … don't want your dirty money," the blond said slowly.

"Someone else will get it if you don't," Eren said confidently, easily slipping into his haggling mode. This was something he was familiar with. Eren knew how to drive a hard bargain and he was suddenly convinced that he would close this deal in only a matter of minutes. "Besides, I think you kinda deserve it. After everything I put you through. But you won't see even a cent of that money if you don't take me with you."

"You stole to get that money, Eren. You should be returning it to the people you stole from!"

"I didn't steal the money from those people, I stole an item from them. And it turned out to be a fake, so in a way, I did them a favour! Listen Armin, you've got a really good opportunity here. This is a lot of money. I know you could use it. But hey, the choice is yours."

"And if I refuse?" Armin lifted his head to meet Eren's gaze again and it was the worst thing for the blond to do in that instant. As soon as their eyes met, Eren knew he had him. So he hardened his gaze to answer.

"I don't want to hurt you any more than I already have, Armin. But I will if I have to."

"This is fucking insane," Armin whined, burying his face in both hands for a long moment. Eren stayed quiet, letting the seconds tick awkwardly by. A deep shudder rose from the blond. "Fine. I'll … I'll do it. You give me a grand and I'll take you with me."

A smile bloomed across Eren's face and he made no move to restrain it. Yes!

"Thank you, Armin, thank you so much!"

"Uh, the money?" Armin hinted.

"Oh, no," Eren said. "Not yet. I need a little security to make sure you don't run out on me. So how about this. I'll give you half tomorrow morning when we leave. And I'll give you the other half when we get there. Sound fair?"

"Sure, whatever."

"Great!" Eren couldn't help but bounce on the bed a little bit. "So, where are we going anyway? Where are you headed?"

Armin gave a soft smile before standing up and heading to the bathroom, throwing the answer over his shoulder.

"The beach."

* * *

><p>Armin had no idea what time it was, only that he was not waiting a minute longer. He moved smoothly and silently as he slipped out of bed, pulled on his shoes and headed for the door. Eren had made a terrible mistake in trusting Armin so readily. The blond had no intention of letting the insane brunet travel with him! Armin was leaving now, while Eren was fast asleep. He could be miles away before the man even realised what had happened.<p>

First things first. Armin needed his phone and his keys back. A cursory check through his bag earlier that evening had confirmed that Eren had pinched the keys, the thorough bastard. Armin crouched by Eren's bed and quietly riffled through his belongings. It didn't take him long to find both his keys and his phone. Armin slipped them in his pockets, being careful not to jingle the keys too much.

Now all he had to do was leave the room without Eren waking up.

His backpack was heavy but Armin endured the weight as he slung it up onto his shoulders. Glancing back at the sleeping brunet one last time, Armin put his hand on the door and opened it quickly. The night was very dark and a brief glance at the sky confirmed there was heavy cloud cover. Armin eased the motel door shut and slunk over to his car.

He could do this. He could escape!

Armin quietly opened the boot and slung his backpack down into it. Suddenly, a hand clamped over his mouth and an arm wrapped around his middle, pinning his own arms to his sides. Armin gave a squeal of indignance and began to struggle.

"You know, I really thought we were past this," Eren hissed into his ear. "We made a deal! And I'm sorry Armin, but if you're gonna try and back out now, then I'm gonna have to stop you."

Eren moved quickly, using his superior body mass to force Armin to his knees. One moment of quick reshuffling later, Armin found his arms crushed to his sides by Eren's strong legs. Using his free hand, Eren shoved something in Armin's mouth that had him gagging. Were these socks? Oh, he fucking hoped they were clean!

Eren pulled Armin back to his feet and shoved his head down into the boot of the car. The blond struggled but it was no use. Eren had him pinned in such a way that he couldn't spit the gag out, no matter how he tried. His hands were wrenched behind his back and tied with what Armin assumed to be a shirt. Something groped at his pants and Armin cursed around the gag as Eren fished the phone and keys out of his pockets. The weight on his back lifted and Armin was wrenched upright. Eren yanked his backpack out of the boot before scooping the blond up in his arms.

"I'm sorry to have to do this to you again. But you tried to break our deal."

Armin kicked and writhed, trying to scream around the socks in his mouth which he frantically hoped were clean. Please be clean! Yet Eren was too strong – and angry, Armin realised as he caught a glimpse of the man's face. Armin was wrestled into the boot and Eren cast one last glare at him before slamming it shut.

How dare he! The bastard! Motherfucker! Armin wriggled like a man possessed, ears straining as he listened to Eren opening and closing car doors. His suspicions were confirmed when only a few short moments later, a weight settled into the car and the engine started up.

Eren was leaving now, with Armin as his very intentional prisoner. Furious beyond words, Armin struggled frantically against his restraints. The shirt couldn't hold forever. Fabric stretched. He would get free and then he would deal with Eren Jaeger, once and for all!

* * *

><p>Eren yawned and rubbed a hand across his tired eyes as he struggled to focus on the road. Fuck Armin! It was all his fault! Eren had been enjoying a lovely sleep in that warm, soft motel bed until that brat decided to try and run out on him! The urge to grind his teeth swept over him but Eren resisted. He hated that habit.<p>

The clock on the dashboard glowed eerily in the dim light, confirming it was still far too early for anyone to be awake. With one eye on the petrol gauge that was sitting dangerously close to empty, Eren kept driving until he found a twenty four hour petrol station.

He refuelled and continued on without any trouble from his passenger in the boot. Eren didn't know if Armin was biding his time or what, but he hadn't heard any noise from the blond since they started driving. He didn't care whether that was a good thing or not, he just drove.

Six a.m. finally rolled around and Eren left the highway to duck into a little town with a McDonald's. One Drive-Thru trip later, the car was full of the delicious scent of hot breakfast foods and Eren's stomach was killing him. Yet he wouldn't eat right now. Armin had to be hungry, whether he was awake or not. And no matter how pissed off at him Eren was, he still intended to try and patch things up with the blond.

Eren took a side road that led down this old, overgrown track that he was sure no-one had used for years. Perfect. Stopping the car by some trees, he tucked the bag of McDonald's under his arm, lifted the tray of coffees and went to the boot of the car. The coffees were balanced on the roof of the car as Eren opened the boot, fully expecting the attack that was abruptly launched at him.

Armin yelled, lunging upward as he threw the socks and shirt back into Eren's face. Eren dodged the flying clothing and shot his right hand forward to grab Armin roughly by the collar of his shirt. With a heave and a shove, the blond was yanked out of the boot and sent sprawling rather unceremoniously on the ground.

A groan of pain rose up from the blond but Eren rolled his eyes. If Armin was looking to play the sympathy card, he'd have to go somewhere else. Eren didn't care about any scrapes or bruises anymore.

"Here," he said as Armin sat up with murder in his eyes. "Eat something."

Surprise came over Armin's face as he caught the breakfast muffin that Eren tossed at him. The two young men exchanged distrusting glares as they slowly unwrapped their muffins and began to eat. Eren allowed himself a small sigh of contentment as the food settled well in his stomach. He twisted around to reach the two coffees, stretching out to pass one to Armin.

"Why are you doing this?" Armin asked after a couple sips of the hot drink.

"Because even though I'm fucking pissed off, I need a ride. You are my best bet for that and while I have been tempted to just drop your sorry ass on the side of the road – believe me, I've been tempted – it would leave too many loose ends. So we're stuck with each other because I don't trust you."

"So you're feeding me?" Armin queried and Eren shrugged.

"I told you before, I'm not doing this to hurt you or anything like that. I need a ride and I'm willing to pay. I get that you hate me. Don't worry. Right now, the feeling's mutual. But you already know enough about me to have me put away for at least a year, so there's no way I'm letting you out of my sight until I'm convinced that you won't screw me over! So far I'm not convinced."

Armin sighed and Eren tossed him another muffin, keeping the last one for himself.

"So what, you're still intending to pay me a thousand dollars to let you travel with me? Seriously?"

"What other choice do I have?" Eren said, perhaps a little more passionately than was needed. "If I just left, you could go to the police any time and tell them what you know! If I dumped you and took the car, you could go to the police and tell them what vehicle to look for. But if I stay … I have a chance."

Silence fell between them as Armin mulled it over. Eren turned away, staring out over the surrounding fields as the sun climbed above the horizon, casting everything in a breathtaking golden light. It had been such a long time since Eren just sat and enjoyed a sunrise. He suddenly wished that he was on better terms with his companion for this one. Sunrises should be a happy experience, not this awkward arguing and taunting of theirs.

"I'm sorry," Armin said and Eren looked over, half-convinced that he had heard wrong. "You're right. We made a deal and I shouldn't have tried to back out. But you just … you came barrelling into my life without permission and without pausing to ask if I was okay with having someone else around. I'm still furious with you."

"Well that's something we have in common," Eren remarked wryly and a dark grin flashed across Armin's face.

"So uh, I guess, yeah, the deal's back on. If you're okay with that, I mean."

Eren gave a real smile and nodded at Armin. He abruptly stood up and went to his backpack, digging around for something before coming back and handing it to the blond.

"Here. Five hundred now, five hundred when we get there. Just as we agreed."

Hesitant finger reached out to accept the money and Eren watched the conflicting emotions battle in Armin's eyes. He wasn't sure what won, as the blond ducked his head before looking up with a tentative smile, all traces of emotion gone from his eyes.

"Should we get going, then? We still have a lot of ground to cover."

"Yeah," Eren agreed and stretched. "I guess we should."

He picked up his socks and shirt and tossed them in the boot, then closed it and got back in the driver's seat. Armin let himself into the front passenger seat and Eren couldn't help but shoot him a glance as he started the car. This arrangement was unusual, to say the least. Yet even though he was currently mad as hell with the blond to his right, Eren couldn't deny that the sunlight on his golden hair made him look positively beautiful.


End file.
